You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
