Fuck appropriateness.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
