I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
