shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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