I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
