How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
