forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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