butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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