just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So vagazzling was a success
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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