did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
