I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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