So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
