yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
