just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
