Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
