K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
