Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
