Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
