Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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