i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
too bad you live with your parents still
I think I won the penis lottery.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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