Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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