We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
