You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
