Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
