He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
