I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
