I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
