I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just blew my weed a kiss
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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