saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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