there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
