no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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