youre lurking in front of me
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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