I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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