the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
