The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
no you cant smoke seaweed
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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