I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is Oprah even human
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
