and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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