It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm having to shit out rocks
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