i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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