As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
