First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
