He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
