I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
