I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You took a bar mat shot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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