i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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