I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I will pee on everything he values.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
