If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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