You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
