so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
