I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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