You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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