how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
