literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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