my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
