with your own penis?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
