Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So many bounce houses so little time
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
