My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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