I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
