Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
3 2 1 whiskey
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
