wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
