I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
