so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize